I spent New Years last year with my brother and his wife at this really dumpy dive bar in my hometown. There were girls from high school there waiting tables and guys from high school there drinking and whooping it up. They were showing some kind of motorcycle stunt man on the big screens – he was going to attempt this great big giant leap at midnight. There was a Journey Cover Band there, too… Now if that just doesn’t SCREAM white-kids-in-the-suburbs, I don’t know what does.
I was about four months out from a terrible breakup and still a bit rattled from it. I had moved home for three months to help my mother during her recovery from her final revision surgery from her breast cancer reconstruction. I should have taken it as a sign with the motorcycle stunt man on TV not only didn’t make his leap, but chickened out, bailing before he was totally committed to the jump. That’s good television right there. A fucking omen to the year to come.
It wasn’t all THAT bad, guys. Really… I started out the year moving into a new house with one of my oldest friends. Our boys became “roommates” too and it was really cool… for a while. I really threw myself into dating and the first half of the year saw me with … [counting in my head] … at least four or five mini-relationships that ended up not going anywhere. I met the HSD in March. I went to Portland to visit one of my dearest friends in April. Weather delays caused me to miss my connecting flight in Dallas and I ended up having to sleep in the airport overnight. That was a hell of an adventure. Portland was kind of life-altering to me. It was such an amazing city and when we drove out to the coast and hiked this mountain and watched the sunset over the water, I remember thinking to myself, “This is my year.”
Well… This has NOT been my year.
My roommate has moved out and this friend that I felt would do anything for me has not yet come back to retrieve the last of her things or pay me any of the money she owed me or even returned the keys. I haven’t seen her since she moved out and we have barely spoken. I have Christmas gifts sitting under my tree for them, but I have a feeling I probably won’t see her — how disappointing.
My dating life has been… *sigh* Well, an adventure. Not all bad, but several really crummy spots… I have learned a lot about myself and what I want… I tried really hard this year to date outside of my standard bad-boy-box. It’s been really good in a lot of ways because I have been able to place targets on really unacceptable behaviors. But I know what I like… I can’t hang with REALLY nice guys. I am not attracted to shy, reserved men. I don’t respect men who are afraid of their shadows or afraid to take leaps. I like them tall and lean with strong arms and scabs on their knees. I expected to end up in a relationship this year, but it’s actually kind of nice that I haven’t because I really want to hold out for a man that deserves me and can handle me. I am something of an acquired taste, ha!
My financial life this year has been a fucking joke. I have been disorganized and irresponsible.
2009, you can suck a dick. 2010, this is what I expect from you:
- Quality dates or no dates at all
- Financial stability
- Positive living situation
- Good health
- Lots of business
Let’s see if we can work together to make all my dreams come true, mmkay??