But some things just REALLY bother me.
Perhaps it gives you some insight into how… controlling I can be. I know there are things I cannot change… I can accept those things… Sure. But that doesn’t mean I’m not going to complain about them or that when these things happen, I’m not going to twitch a little and raise my eyebrow… Do a little tilt of the head…
Here’s three from JUST this morning:
- When people still have the “Call This Number To Authorize” sticker on their credit cards… Or when they’re so pretentious that they keep their card in its little sleeve so that it dare not come in contact with any of the grime that might be lurking in the crevasses of a wallet! *gasp* DUDE. Take the god damn sticker off your god damn credit card.
- Coming into the shop and asking, “Do you have tape?” Yes… We’re a shipping store and a business center. OF COURSE we have tape. The question you MEAN to ask is, “Can you please use your free tape to close my package because I don’t have any/won’t purchase my own roll?” It’s cool if you’re going to be a cheapskate. But let’s not ALSO be a fucking dipshit, okay?
- When you come in, like an Neanderthal, and you don’t know hot to operate a copy machine and/or are so daft that you cannot READ the directions posted ON the copier as well as BEHIND the copier on the wall, I want to kick you in the nuts. But, whatever, it’s a big piece of equipment, it’s cool. I’ll come help you with it. But when you ASK me to help you with the copies, keep your goddamn hands off the papers. When you start pulling copies off the tray before they’ve finished copied and you mix them up while I’m copying, you will most likely, get confused… I might, too… But mostly, I will want to hold the pages really stiff-like and lacerate you inbetween your fingers. And asking me, “Did you copy this one yet?” if you’ve already taken them from my organized little assembly line will get you a very cold, dead stare from me.
God damn it.